White coat. Heels.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize