Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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