You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
