i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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