Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize