Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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