clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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