I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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