Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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