She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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