she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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