Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize