It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
