what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
