I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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