I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I can't put those talents on a resume
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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