You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My vagina is very pro this idea
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