Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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