hotel room ftw
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
