i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
