just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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