u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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