But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We were destined to go to rehab together
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
