Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just found puke in my bra..
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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