Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
