does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
