Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
