I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
