i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
they're like a gay fantastic four
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
