he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
