Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
