dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
