i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I need to sanitize my soul.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
