I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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