We're like a lot better than the average bears
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize