I feel great
I just peed on a car
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
