do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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