I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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