Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Randomize
