Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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