I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
