i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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