we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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