Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Dignity is for republicans.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
