At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
