too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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