At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
