I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
