have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
