I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
