yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
