its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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