I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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