I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
