you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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