But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
