Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
