i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
