I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
