what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
